Geraldo Made Me Watch TV And Listen To Mercyful Fate - Parts I, II, & III

Part: I

Geraldo

Monkey see, monkey do.

~ American proverb

Like many adolescent kids, I was introduced to Satanism through Geraldo Rivera. At the time, I had never seen his now infamous TV special on the outcast religion, and, um ratings snatcher. In fact I had never seen enough of his show to garner any kind of lasting attention. To me, it was just more of that melodramatic adult-type stuff like soap operas and local news shows that I avoided in my daily TV playground. So when I saw his ad on the front page of the TV Guide, I thought it looked about as interesting as the dash of cookie crumbs and their corresponding grease moats that were slowly soaking into the newsprint and spotting his pictoral pitch. It was something along the lines of; “Exclusive, Special Edition of The Geraldo Rivera Show. Tuesday night on ABC, Geraldo investigates Satanism. Check your local listings.”

A necessary digression:

I’ve always had problems spelling. During elementary school, I was placed in the next to lowest spelling group by my teachers. It was great because I didn’t have to work as hard as the kids in the highest group. They had to wrestle with things like, contagion and pernicious, while I lackadaisically rolled around with the likes of, cat and happy. So when I saw ‘Satanism’ next to Geraldo’s mustache, my mind read it as ‘Satinism’. I thought it was a special on fabrics like satin and silk and stuff. With the colorful newsprint cover of Geraldo standing in what looked like a cave next to a bunch of candles, I assumed he was giving his, “Special Investigative Report” from India or Thailand in some kind of dilapidated 3rd world ‘Satin’ factory. Looked boring as hell.

Farther down the path of digression:

My friend Tyler had told me that a bunch of bands we both liked were involved with, ‘colts’. Still, my mind did not process this word and meaning correctly. He said his friend Richard told him that his pastor had given him a list of musical artists that were involved in devil worshiping ‘coltish’ activities, including; Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Cinderella, Pink Floyd, Ratt, Cyndi Lauper (huh?), Guns N Roses, Kiss, Poison, Led Zeppelin, Sheena Easton (yup, that’s right), Iron Maiden, Great White, AC/DC (he told me that this acronym stood for; After Christ / Devil Comes), Judas Priest, Bon Jovi, W.A.S.P. (again the real meaning; We. Are. Satanic. Perverts… This is so funny because, now I picture a bunch of hooded Satanic monks chanting, holding candles, and aimlessly walking around a fire in their black robs with protruding boners), and of course, Mr. Ozzy Osbourne. So it was these bands that were part of the colts as well as, I guess, some kinds of horses (we had been studying ancient mythology that dealt with minotaurs and centaurs and ladies with snakes for hair; all kinds of cool shit!) and back then, the horrendously bad Indianapolis Colts. The message was telling us to stay away from it all. I listened good and hard because the mystique of it was the most fascinating part and I wanted to know more. Like an authoritative figure telling a kid, “whatever you do; never, ever, go down those stairs to the basement and look behind that curtain. Never, ever, never do that!” Just like Dorothy with The Wizard of Oz, any kid or adult will admit that the looking is the funnest part! Hence the Geraldo special airing during prime time.

Once I found out that Satan was not a type of fabric, and that Cults were not horses, I relentlessly searched the TV Guide for the next re-run. And Bingo! I found one airing on Thanksgiving Day. And now you say, ”What?!” Geraldo prefaced the rerun by saying the decision was made to air the popular segment during the day on a holiday so that teenagers and adults that might not have seen the original would get to see it on their day off – I’m not kidding here, he really did do that. So I watched with glee, until I was genuinely scared. Tales of torture, obsessed teenage killers, sexual rituals, children born into Satanic cults that are afraid to leave when older, Charles Manson, drugs, the Son of Sam serial killer David Berkowitz, screaming preachers holding crucifixes to exorcise the possessed, and plenty of references to Heavy Metal music. The interviews with convicted satanic murders, ‘special occult division’ law enforcement officers, rockers Ozzy and King Diamond, various religious experts from the Christian church to the daughter of the Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey. As an 11 year-old kid, it was at a minimum, terrifying and disturbing, yet I was charged with an inquisitive eagerness to know more. I remember wanting to change it to the Disney Channel a few times but my curiosity had other plans.

Geraldo crew taping a King Diamond concert

Ozzy talks to Geraldo

According to Geraldo’s special investigative report, Devil Worship; Exposing Satan’s Underground, some of the “warning signs of a child’s drift toward Satanism include:”

• Abrupt emotional changes
• Changes in school habits
• Rejection of parental values
• Obsession with rock music groups using Satanic symbols or references
• Rejection of friends
• Preference for being alone

So we can deduce that most of us are, or have been Satanists at some point. I’m guessing that the source of Geraldo’s empirical data was found in fortune cookies, and journalistic integrity was not in his astrology chart that day. This list was made by, and for people that are possessed with malleable, dusty brains. The only useful information to be found here is that human emotion and thought can be hijacked. It’s proof of something larger at work.

With Geraldo playing the passionately poetic narrator, Thanksgiving daytime TV watchers were exposed to all of this mayhem mixed with the very clever editing of images and interviews that, in the end, produced a kind of happy ending. All together now; “What?!!” That’s right, “happy ending” because we watched 40 minutes of tabloid ‘trash’ TV with 20 minutes of wholesome commercials. And, in the end, that’s the point of TV – the greatest vehicle for advertisement in history.

Part: II

TV

“Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.”
~ Yoda

There’s a common misconception about the Devil living in the center of the Earth. This is far from the truth because the truth is closer to us than we think.

Warning: This Might Sting a Little

He lives in the center of our living rooms, inside our TV sets. Television is clearly evil in the sense that, as an abstraction, it preys on our emotions and deprives us of judgment and critical thought. It has become so ubiquitous and transparent that we no longer notice it as a spectacle or neat appliance, but rather as an invisible part of us that plays into all aspects of our lives. We become what we see, without knowing it. It’s a modern marvel built by Satanic geniuses.

But?

• “But TV is a valid and useful news outlet.”

The News
Okay, I’ll admit that I can see the usefulness of a communication tool in times of severe weather – I do live in tornado alley. But it’s extremely half-assed because with the internet, one can get that information faster and from the same source (National Weather Service) that the talking heads get it from and without the mock dramatizations. Local and national news programs have always been a funny enigma to me. In the span of half an hour to an hour, we receive an extremely truncated version of news worthy material. Serious expressions from well dressed and good looking hosts give way to light hearted banter as we watch the reading of a story from a teleprompter to a segueway into the next segment. In my view these people are not journalists but instead actors or performers whose main job is to look good and act as professional and inoffensive as possible. Seriously; why would anyone watch this diluted crap when a good ole’ fashioned newspaper or an online news site is within reach? Both of these formats are far more efficient in that it takes less time to absorb more information, and unlike broadcast news, one has a choice on what news to read. My only guess about this topic is laziness. Instead of reading the news in an engaging fashion, TV watchers are simply and generally told the news in a passive state – it’s easier.

• “But TV is a form of entertainment.”

Sporting Events
Hey, I like football as much as anyone, but when I sit on my ass and watch a 3 hour NFL game that has an average of 10 minutes of actual play time, I can’t help but think that I’ve been ‘sold on the cheap.’ The other 2 hours and 50 minutes were spent watching players mill around and line up, coaches mouthing plays and getting pissed, injuries, half-time shows, replays in slo-mo, listening to useless commentary, and of course the commercials; which tend to be of the manly variety – beer, trucks, Viagra, etc. The infamous Joe Six-Pack plays into the hands of advertisers as his belly grows and his bank account gets punished.

What!?

TV Stoners & Teleholics
Television is psychologically addictive. Like other addicts ranging from the closet variety to the full blown “I need a fix!” type; TV watchers will never admit to watching too much television. According to a 2008 study by Nielsen Media Research, the average American household watches an average of 8 hours and 18 minutes per day, while the average daily TV time for an individual is 4 hours and 45 minutes. And everyone’s familiar with that glazed over stare that accompanies the couch potato; directly attributed to rapid editing, visual and auditory effects, and of course the emotional pull, whether it be suspense, comedy, action, sorrow, or joy. Television is a visual medium specifically designed by and for visual creatures. Is it any wonder that the communication of messages through the tube to the watcher closely resembles the way humans learn? We’ve become so accustomed to its existence that we unknowingly depend on it. And that’s the point. To create isolated voyeuristic creatures that openly receive information laced with neat rewards that ultimately damage them, but fulfill another. It’s a legitimate business strategy that has worked for all human history; TV is just the newest incarnation.

The Commercials
The genius of TV and its parent, the advertising industry, is the clandestine creation of needs. The physical TV is the delivery truck, and the medium is the shipment of goods right to our eyes and ears. There’s a catchphrase called, Content & Fill that’s used in the advertising industry to describe the ratio of Content; being the commercials, to the Fill; being the vehicle or show to deliver the message. I’m gonna hand it over to my good buddy Noam Chomsky for this one. In this answer to an interviewer’s question he clarifies and takes the point farther:

The content is the advertising. The fill is the car chase or the sex scene or something, that's supposed to keep you going between ads. If you look at a television program; the creativity and the imagination and the expenses and so on are for the ads; the car chase you can pull off the shelf. And in fact this has led to a serious deterioration of the political system… (and now a necessary digression-ed.) Take a look at the last campaign (presidential ’04). The campaigns are run by the same people who sell toothpaste, exactly the same PR agencies. And when they sell a candidate they do it the exact same way they sell a lifestyle drug. You don't put up information about the candidate, what you do is create delusional images that delude and deceive. The population knows it. A very small number of the population, about 10% of the voters, literally, knew the stands of the candidates on the issues. And it's not because they are stupid or uninterested. It's just like you don't know the characteristics of toothpaste.

Chomsky kinda goes off on a political tangent here, but what he’s alluding to is that, the medium of television has the ability to be anti-democratic and controlling.
==>One way is through the ownership of broadcasting companies that consist of large conglomerates with multiple business interests. To function efficiently as companies, they would not communicate media or news that conflicts with their business interests, thus presenting a biased view. However, it’s important that they present their view as fair, balanced, and complete to the public in order to engage the maximum amount of viewers.
==>The second way is that through the distractive nature of TV; audiences are made to be fearfully apathetic. It has been said that a population is easier to control if they are distracted from things that matter. If people are obsessed with consumerism and superficialities, they will be less likely to care about important issues. If people are afraid and uneasy, their anxiety can be used to sell anything from bug spray and fuel injection cleaner, to guns and war. The bottom line here is to keep people from thinking by dumbing them down and distracting them.

Brave New World & 1984
Aldous Huxley published Brave New World in 1932; and we have been feeling the aftershock ever since. Not because of the book, but because of its story and irony becoming truer everyday. It's about a country that's very happy and somewhat utopian. The government of the fictional country achieved this by drugging the populace into passivity with commodities and drugs that everyone wants and needs. Sounds scary and familiar to me. 1984 was published in 1949 by George Orwell. This book paints a similar portrait, but instead of mindless passivity, the population of Orwell's country are controlled strictly and brutally via an invisible totalitarian dictator and regime. Both books use the sci-fi platform to tell about humanity's path. 1984 is reminscent of the U.S.S.R. and Brave New World is reminscent of families watching 8 hours plus of TV per day...

Where’s The Funny Part?

Have you ever encountered:

• Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD)
• Dysphoric Social Attention Consumption Deficit Anxiety Disorder (DSACDAD)

I’m guessing a few have heard of these disorders. But not from their doctors. That’s because they were made up by advertising agencies – and one comedian.

This is manipulation in its finest sense, and the key is our participation. If we didn’t buy the products featured on TV, the television medium would not exist. Geraldo had a hit with his Satanism special and subsequent re-runs because there was a demand for it. His staff and ABC knew this; that’s the reason they produced it. Fear is the fuel that makes the machine go and the public’s best interest is not to be informed and educated in a critical way, but to be manipulated through entertainment into mindsets of paranoia and anxiety that produce diluted thinking and soft conclusions.

• I remember my giddy pleasure when the Kibbles ‘n Bits commercial came on. “ I want my Kibbles ‘n Bits ‘n Bits ‘n Bits…” It’s almost like proto hip-hop!
• My mother always got a little teary-eyed at the end of the American Express commercials. Shit, I just found one on youtube with Jerry Seinfeld as a fish out of water in Britain promoting the card that had me smirking.
• And the ‘Bud Light; Real Men of Genius’ series. Funny, funny stuff!
• Who can forget the crying Indian commercials from the 1970s as part of the, ‘Keep America Beautiful’ campaign.

The point being, is that this stuff is powerful and works marvelously. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with laughing and crying. But when our emotions are hijacked for the purposes of marketing a product to us, it just feels sinister even though we’re all laughing.

And Then What?

The Off Button
Saturation, submersion; the idea is not to notice it. But when the TV is figured out and turned off… well, it’s like we’re being turned on! It’s like a cold beer on a Friday afternoon; it’s like taking ski boots off; it’s like an amazing bowel movement; it’s like an orgasm; it’s like listening to your first Mercyful Fate album!

Part: III

Mercyful Fate

"Ah, ah, We come from the land of the ice and snow, From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow. How soft your fields so green, Can whisper tales of gore, Of how we calmed the tides of war. We are your overlords."
~ Robert Plant

When is it known that something is a classic? Everyone’s answer would be different of course, but for me, it’s when that something resonates for ages in life. Music, art, books, movies. Anything that’s left a mark; a perfect scar that’s brushed over from time to time, reminding its way back from distant memories into the present.

In the early ‘80s, Denmark produced one of its finest exports in the form of a Heavy Metal band called, Mercyful Fate. Although I wouldn’t discover them until long after their demise; I feel that I carry the torch in a sense for this band, because I’ve been a fan for more than half my life, and most importantly, I still enjoy their music.

The first time I heard about them was on some of Geraldo Rivera’s Satanism specials. On the very first episode Geraldo showed some footage of a King Diamond concert with overdubbed commentary by the singer and then a solid debunking by Geraldo claiming that Diamond was full of “bull.” Then on a subsequent episode, Geraldo had a panel of formerly troubled adolescents, that when questioned about their old music habits, one of them said he had listened to King Diamond when he used to be in Mercyful Fate. And that was all I needed to connect the dots. While I’d heard King Diamond on his own and thought that the stuff was okay; the Geraldo show made Mercyful Fate out to be a far more intense and dangerous band. This of course piqued my curiosity and drove me to find out more about this relatively obscure band.

So I went out and bought their first album on tape; 1983’s Melissa, and I remember being simultaneously disappointed and intrigued. Disappointed because the audio was so bad – it sounded like it was recorded in a basement with a cheap ghetto blaster. Yet it was intriguing for the same reason. Melissa is so low-budget sounding that it adds to the already dark demeanor of the band and subject matter. It’s as if they recorded it in a secret dungeon while satanic rituals were taking place. The band sounded fresh, raw, intense; all the characteristics of a young group that’s hungry for success. Often this is the best a band will ever be because their passion is firmly organic. There are no other factors to corrupt the group’s vision like contracts, money, fame; the trappings that dog established acts and sometimes cripple them permanently. Yet band members unanimously support and push each other in the face of poverty, ill relationships, jobs; anything would be sacrificed for the benefit of the band. It’s a rare instance when one can hear the force that drives the collective spirit of individuals in their pursuit of a common goal.


Some Historical Background

Mercyful Fate came together in Copenhagen, Denmark in 1980. They comprised of; King Diamond(Kim Bendix Petersen) on vocals, Michael Denner on guitar, Hank Sherman(Rene Krolmark) on guitar, Timi 'Grabber' Hansen on bass, and Kim Ruzz on drums. Their most distinguishing factor is Diamond’s appearance and vocals. Obviously influenced by Alice Copper and Kiss, Diamond donned black and white face paint in various guises that usually included an inverted crucifix on his forehead. Known as ‘Ghoul Paint’ the style would later be adopted by a new generation of Scandinavian Black Metal bands. Diamond possesses a unique voice in that his vocal range spans from a low growling type of sound, to a mid tenor and most unusually, a high falsetto that’s mostly associated with R&B and Disco – think Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees getting into a brawl with Freddy Kruger.

"Evil" from Melissa

After Melissa they released, Don’t Break the Oath, in 1984 which had a much needed and improved production quality. 1985 brought the band worldwide attention when they were included in Tipper Gore’s PMRC campaign and subsequent list of “the filthy fifteen” artists with songs that the campaign found especially insidious. Their song, Into The Coven was included for references to the occult and Satanism. Also in that year, internal tensions in the band drove them to break up, with Diamond, Hansen, and Denner going on to play in the King Diamond solo act. Hank Sherman started a pop-rock band called Fate and Kim Ruzz retired from music and became a postal worker. Two really good posthumous releases came in later years; The Beginning in ’87 and Return Of The Vampire in ’92. These albums contain odd rarities like demos, bootlegs, and b-sides from ’80 to ’82; and like Melissa they have that horrendous audio quality that adds to the mystique of the band. In 1993 the band decided to try it again and reformed with everyone except Kim Ruzz. Since then they’ve released five albums; In The Shadows in ’93, Time in ’94, Into The Unknown in ’96, Dead Again in ’98, and 9 in ’99. Along the way Hansen and Denner left, leaving Diamond and Sherman as the only original members. Since 2000 Mercyful Fate has been on an indefinite hiatus because strangely, they have no financial backing to record or tour.

A recent TV spot with former guitarist, Michael Denner

The Lawnmower Boy

A Mercyful Fate tape was never far from my walkman. As a teenager, I mowed lawns for cash like many do, and always had a clunky cassette player strapped to my hip. I was a confirmed teenage Heavy Metal Warrior, and I definitely fought the good fight for the cause. A fan of what’s called the Golden Age of Metal, I gravitated toward Metal that someone 10 years older than I would like. I virtually listened to no contemporary music in the early ‘90s and would cringe or step up to the soapbox and preach about today’s music when some poor soul would mention or even allude to Grunge or Alternative. While my friends were listening to Pantera and Metallica, I was happily at home listening to my Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. And even today, if it’s going to be Metal, for me it’s going to be Metal that was produced or made by a band that’s been firmly established before 1985. Nowadays I’ve long since retired my Metal armor – as it’s definitely a genre that caters to the minds and hearts of adolescent males – although every now and then, I’ll don the battle gear and reminisce about the times of yore while I mow my own lawn even though no one pays me.

Song & Dance Men

From my point of view, Mercyful Fate is not an evil entity. They’re musical performers that earn their dinner with song and dance. Listening to them is like watching an old black and white horror movie on Halloween; harmless and fun. It makes me chuckle when people take it seriously because they and Geraldo are entertainers in every sense, capitalizing on their niche. And the fad of Satanism in the ‘80s was good for many, whether it be bands singing about the depths of Hell or mock investigative reporters doing specials on the topic. Everyone was out to make a profit and business was good.

"A Dangerous Meeting" from Don't Break The Oath